Friday, February 29, 2008

Dig if you will, the .ppt






Oh, I dig! But I don't think this one quite fits the lyrics. I might be like my father, but you might be like my mother. I parsed and parsed until I realized that the lyrics themselves may not be all that logical. Then I, like the doves, had a good cry.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

OG Sexy Hands...

You know, Aurorasbored, you can't say the things the NY Times said about Gabriel Byrne without making me think of another great listener:

Taking in the world from the depths of his leather armchair, Paul is all ears. And eyes. And hands. Steepled, clasped in contemplation or lingering at his cheek, those hands, especially, express empathy better than words.



I got all nostalgic for the show and satisfied my jones with this hilariously confrontational interview with Vanilla Ice...

This Just In: NYT Notices Gabriel Bryne Is Attractive

Lingering photographs of his hands at 8!

I admit myself stuck in a non-watching spree with the show. Schedules and a disarmingly fiction-turned-real relationship arguments have kept me from catching it On Demand and HBO has cruelly turned off the free ep pipeline. Though frankly, if you, the "Greatest Network Of Our Time," bleep an adult themed show (I can't imagine anyone younger than twenty tuning in, feel free to correct me) I'm not biting anymore. But you know, curiosity will see me through. I'm placing my bets on Alex having a PTSD episode and shooting everyone, from Paul and Laura to Paul's wife's lover and Sophie's coach.

Anyway, least the Times roots up some veery mild professional criticism of Paul's methods: “At this point in the series,” Dr. Kanaris [clinical psychologist in private practice in Smithtown, N.Y.] added, “I have to say Paul’s counter-transference is not going very well. It makes for good television but bad therapy.”

Also it seems like Byrne is running for cover: "A publicist for Mr. Byrne, who was born in Dublin and who earlier in his career starred in “The Usual Suspects” and was married to Ellen Barkin, declined to make him available to comment about the unusually personal feelings some audience members have developed for him and his character." If you see him on the street and start yelling, "Paul!" remember your grandmother, and her propensity to call soap stars by character names. I mean, this is just a high-minded soap, right?

The creator of the show, Rodrigo Garcia, seems hellbent on making Paul grotesquely unappealing--though I bet by his methods (more Laura attraction, more Gina abuse, calling his wife a whore some more) are just gonna froth everyone up: “Sure, Paul is a sex symbol,” he said. “But he makes mistakes along the way. And now that we’re seeing his real problem, maybe he’s not a god after all. It’s like my mother used to say: Being that close to someone, you are seeing his dirty underwear.”

We shall see--or rather I will, once I catch up.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Google Trends - Can't Get Enough

This Google Trends thing has grabbed me like a catfish. I've definitely been enjoying it. My interest here has been a massive spike over the past three days since my first post on the topic. In fact, my interest and use of google/trends is exactly represented by the world's interest in Walter Mondale. Spooky, right?

Coincidental as that may be, it's clear I'm well behind the curve on this one. Entering "Google Trends" in google/trends indicates the big spike was back in April of 2006 when they launched.

In a spiral down the meta-toilet, I was also curious how many times people Google Google. As it turns out, it's been steadily on the rise.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Penis Fencing

Cracked.com has an absolutely hilarious article on The 15 Most Bizarre Animal Mating Rituals. Among them, is the flatworm's. This hermaphrodite runs into a potential mate, and like two cellmates on Oz, they battle it out to determine who gets to be the male.

Leslie Newman has caught them on film. And I don't mean to spoil it, but here's an excerpt from the dramatic narration. Imagine this being read nature narrator style:

It's known as penis fencing, and the worms are the swordsmen. From the midsection of each flatworm, double daggers protrude. Each dagger is actually a penis. The first one who can make a successful jab can deliver its sperm.


Flatworms Penis Fencing

Monday, February 25, 2008

Pineapple Express has a release date...

August 8, bebe! And here's the trailer...

Google Trends Dirty



This much dugg screen shot comes from Google trends. Being curious/skeptical, I checked and sho-nuff - the world got real curious about "anal fisting" abruptly at the start of 2006. Specifically, Prague and pretty much all of the Czech Republic got real into anal fisting. Truly weird.

Once you start screwing around with Google Trends, it's really engrossing. For example, the trend for "hangover cure" has massive spikes around the holiday season and the leading cities are the stereotypically drunken centers of English language: Dublin, Edinburgh, Manchester, London... In fact, there are only two U.S. cities in the top ten...

For "police brutality" as a search term, 10 out of 10 top cities are in the U.S. Chicago tops the list and Minneapolis beats out L.A. for second place.

A search on the word "hymen" reveals Iran is very interested in this topic and the U.S. is 10th behind mostly Muslim nations. We are losing the war in born-again virgins.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Your Way Right Away

Someone sent me a story that got me thinking this afternoon. It starts with two kids who were stoned at work in a Burger King in Valencia County, New Mexico. For some dumbass reason, they decided to sprinkle weed on the Whoppers ordered by a police officer (Henry Gabaldon) and consumed by two police officers (Mark Landavazo)- both on duty. The officers ate about half the burger and found leafy green bits that tasted like weed then had it analyzed. Sure enough - it was weed. The kids admitted they did it.

This all happened a few months ago. Just this week, the second kid got probation, just like his partner did a little while ago. All told, I think it was a pretty fair sentence although one of the cops definitely does not agree...




Once you've seen the video, you realize that one kid is Latino (Armijo) and the other one is African American (Nuckols). You also learn the judge is Santa Claus - or possibly a homeless wizard.

Some people - like on the Breitbart.tv forum are mindlessly defending the kids. Some maintain it's "no big deal" since it's just weed and essentially harmless. But there's also a lot of knee-jerk, fuck-a-police type of polemic (if you can count mistyped/mispelled one-sentence comments polemic).

It's clear that many of these comments come from people who feel vindicated by the teenagers' pot sabotage. They are happy that someone 'struck back' against police.

On the other side of the thin blue line,the police reaction shows a lot of frustration that these two kids were not locked up for assault. I don't think these kids should have gone to jail, but I can see why this i really unsettling. The officers were not targeted for being dicks, but because the guy ordering was a cop. This was a random anonymous attack like minor league terrorism.

What's interesting about this incident - and people's reactions - is that they're not about the individuals involved. This was a minor skirmish in a grand struggle battle between cops and teenagers - with some added twists of cops vs minorities.

Cops live in fear of the people they police for reasons just like this. Some of them respond by trying to inspire a little more fear in the people they encounter. That's the way things go with an armed occupation. Is it fundamentally different than our occupation of Iraq or Afghanistan?

I might be making this connection because of the bullying cop videos I've seen recently. This one was big on Digg last week...



When we see these things, we'd like to think these are isolated individuals abusing power. My first reaction was WOW what a cock! This guy definitely shouldn't be a cop. But surely he's in a class by himself... This was kinda what we tried to believe with the pictures and videos from Abu Ghraib when they surfaced. Then I saw a nearly identical one...



The common element I see is fear and confusion on the part of the officers. They confront the kids head-on. They single out an individual in front of his friends - probably in a semi conscious decision to 'make an example' of him. To break him. Then things just escalate.

Once you enter a confrontation, there has to be a winner and a loser. You can't just stop and say - look this was a big misunderstanding. This is true of individuals, groups and nations.

Cookin with Coolio - Second Episode

I was not impressed with the first episode of this show on My Damn Channel, but the second - has fixed most of my earlier complaints! The recipe is an actual recipe - he's sort of braising a cheap cut of beef with a salt-n-peppa rub (can't believe that joke didn't come up). He probably should have seared the steak first to get a crust, or maybe added the liquid after broiling it on each side for a minute - but his aim is simplicity and he's definitely got a simple attack on the meat.

The garlic bread also totally impressed me. He makes the spread with mayo base along with shredded cheddar and some hot sauce. I pretty recently made the discovery that you can make a pretty mean grilled cheese with mayo instead of butter. This seems bold, simple, and I'm definitely going to give it a shot.

In terms of the gags, he's settled down a bit with the catch phrases and worked them into the framing of the show - good move there! I didn't really laugh too hard at the college kid thing - but it was quirky and helped keep the energy up, so I guess it worked.

I'm really impressed with the turnaround! I'll keep watching after this.

All Aboard the Stoner Express!

Following on that theme about anticipated stoner movies, it's worth mentioning Pineapple Express. I was watching Superbad - first time since the theater - and the special features included the trailer (sorry can't embed). Got me all fired up and bubbling with excitement! The script is by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, who grew up best buds and wrote Superbad together. In fact, they starting writing Superbad when they were 13, and probably one (or both) of them were still in the cock-a-doodle-ing phase themselves.

I'm pumped about seeing Seth Rogen together with James Franco again. I was pretty crushed that Freaks and Geeks didn't make it past one season. It was the same hurt I felt as I worked my way through Undeclared on DVD realizing all the while that it was a finite pleasure. It was like falling in love when you know there's a shelf-life on the relationship... when your new lover is about to get shipped off to war - or college. It makes the feelings so intense but bittersweet.

Not-so-randomly, the name Pineapple Express also reefers to a meteorological phenomenon like a warm El Nino blowing off Hawaii. My pot-sulation is that there's a real strain of weed named for the event. Certainly if there wasn't before, dealers are definitely going to be naming weed after this movie. Another case of life imitating art imitating nature.


The pineapple bong. Tasty.
(from CollegeHumor)

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Super High Me

Doug Benson is a comedian making a documentary where he smokes weed for 30 days and then does not smoke weed for 30 days. Doctors check him out and measure his visual and mental acuity and assess the damage... I got all this from the trailer and/or making it up to fill in the gaps.


Some people are undoubtedly going to think this is a ludicrous and unhealthy experiment, like SuperSize Me! Instead, I first wondered what the fuck is so exceptional about smoking pot for 30 days in a row? Now the 30 consecutive days off... I've definitely tried that from time to time, but agree it's an ambitious goal. I wonder what the side effects will be - will it make him paranoid or maladjusted? ...bored? ...active outdoors?

It seems to me Mr. Doug Benson is a pretty funny dude. There are some clips on ComedyCentral. First time I've seen him...



I'm tickled to note that IMDB - while it has an official sounding plot summary - has pegged this as a 2007 film, but nobody seems to be committing to a release date. That's prolly wise.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Computers are Bad

This site, Computers are Bad, is oddly entrancing. I have probably spent too much time on it trying to figure out the trick - if there is one.

I've been reading a bunch of anti-web anti-computer polemic in the last week. My mom kicked it off by sending me an op-ed from the WaPo called 'The Dumbing of America' and forgetting how to read because of the advent of video. Of course, the article was too long for my atrophied attention span so I ended up googling "computers are bad" when I figured I got the gist.

My solace from this fear comes... in the form of a video...

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Catfish Noodling - With Gator

I said I like Internet Superstar and now there's Lil' Interet Superstar, which I'm guessing is a more daily dose or something. Gator hosted one alone on one of my all-time favorite topics... catfish noodling! Basically, noodling is when you wiggle your fingers in a muddy hole so they look like a worm and entice a catfish to swallow them. Then you stick your hand in it's throat and haul it out. So, the catfish bites your hand... and that's the objective! This first-finger account is the one that hooked me about a year ago. I gotta confess that Gator's clips are tight, but here's a decent look at some guys flexing their skills...



These catfish they're hauling out of the water can be up to 50 or 60 pounds. Imagine jamming your hand down a first-grader's throat and trying to haul him away from the telivision. Now imagine that kid is a badass swimmer and you're battling underwater. That's a rough wrassle. But imagine if you picked the wrong hole and got a truly giant catfish. How big could that be?

A pretty big man could be two hundred pounds. A big fatty lineman could be 300. Now double that and you've got the giant catfish. That's right, in the Mekong river, National Geographic reported that fishermen caught one that was nine feet long and 650 pound in May, 2005. If you tried to noodle that, you'd have to play Jonah and have a partner hold your ankles as that monster swallows you whole.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Native American Songs Gone Indian!

Here are two priceless outcomes of the global village...

Smoke on the Yangtze:



And then my personal favorite... Sweet Adoptive Child of Mine

In Treatment - Offline

Aurorasbored made a good point about what's so disappointing lately with In Treatment. I think she nails the major unravelling here...

This was supposed to be a different format - five strands on five days. That's what got me excited! I wanted to watch Paul's patients grow internally and change through dialogue only. Instead, we see everything devolving and revolving around Paul himself.

The patients are foils for Paul and are helping illustrate his character arc. Instead of watching them grow, they're remaining flat.

The patients in two dimensions are reflecting different aspects of Paul and helping to fill him out. By connecting Alex and Laura, they're reflecting more of him, but less of themselves.

Paul was entrancing in Week 1 as a foil for his patients. As of now, I've lost patience.

If this was an effort to hook me with the free online viewing, it has not worked. I won't pay for HBO to get this show and I won't make the effort to download the torrents.

If Soprano's didn't get me to pay for HBO and The Wire didn't get me to buy Showtime, this prescription's gonna have to be a whole lot stronger.

Anyone know anyone


..who can get me some of this shit? Poverty poisons the brain, according to this old newspaper wank. And like a man said, anything that poisons the brain--I'll take ten. Throw it in a nice piece of blue blown glass and bic, click, burble, ahhh.

...that's the good stuff. Makes you feel stupid and apathetic, like I like it. In fact, shit! Amazing it's not illegal. They should do that. It'd boost demand and decrease supply--make poverty all-ass hard to come by. Resulting in a poverty arms race. People will stop settling for that shwag-ass poverty. Like I'm shelling out my hard earned benjies for a bunch of dried out no-future dirt seeds? No, let's get that dank stuff. The high grade. Gimme them greens.

Sure, the real primo will be so hard to cultivate that you'll need to be rich to afford it, but it's gonna be worth it. Every last penny.

So who's got $5 on it? Let's smoke this mess right up!

Revision3

These guys have put together some great content in a bunch of formats. The one I've been enjoying is the Internet Superstar podcast. It's got one doofus (Martin Sargent) with a sidekick (Gator) and highlighting a bunch of sad, pathetic, inspiring and just plain weird stars of the interweb.

I've really enjoyed it, and it's right up my alley. In fact, I can't get enough of the show. I'm a little hesitant to recommend to others because two people's I've shown it to find Martin Sargent too grating to sit through.

Do I have a high tolerance for doofus-dom? I wouldn't have thought so... Somehow, I find Martin sincere and open in his dorky doofus-dom. Not too abrasive for my tastes and the content he's digging up is great.

How else would I have learned about The Disintegrator? Some kid spent a year coming up with a rubber-band gun that launches 40 rubber bands per second. Good luck smuggling this into the lunchroom...

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Guest Blogger Aurorasbored: Dismay and Discord to All Therapists! (In Treatment, Week Three)

First thing I want to know (aside from who would be so foolish as to let me guest write on their rather fantastic blog) is: what compels television writers to reach for sex?

I mean, not as a personal habit but as a professional one. I have in my day been attracted to "searing," "passionate" sexual plots that tanked such once-great shows such as The Practice, The X-Files, Grey's Anatomy, et al. I personally find The Practice the most egregious, and most apt to compare to In Treatment in that it started off noble, sober, and deeply intriguing on a moral level then just ended up with Lara Flynn Boyle, naked, on a kitchen counter. No, I'm really not joking.

And dear god, after only two weeks, has In Treatment suffered the same fate? I'll be damned!

The Laura night gave us a damn rocky start, that's for sure. Paul Weston, rattled by his wife's affair and dogged by his old mentor Gina, wakes up in his office on Monday morning. A good a start as any, as Laura promptly busts in and starts her now-tired, histrionic shrieks about how she is in love with Paul, Paul is in love with her, they are going to make love right there on the coffee table, and how dare he treat her as something as mundane as a patient. Oy.

I tuned out a lot of it, I admit. Paul gets up the courage to at least slightly imply she ought to be transferred (which, delicacy of the treatment aside, should have been done immediately, in my highly unprofessional opinion. Like, six months ago so we wouldn't have to deal with The Laura Problem all damn week.) Laura, predictably, flips. There's not much to say about this except dun dun DUN, after she walks out? (as Mssr. Stoner has pointed out) boom, she's right into the Alex narrative.

Okay, I see why it figures of all the characters to be drawn together, it would be Laura and Alex. Alex has some fearsome daddy issues and has projected a great deal of them onto Paul. And Laura is of course, Laura and despite every writerly protest to the contrary, is turning into damn ol' Glen Close. Must we?

It's not all bad, though. In fact, therein lies the grief: Blair Underwood and Melissa George have marvelous chemistry, even in one short scene. It's sneaky, it's sly, they both know on some level they're pulling Paul's chain, but they don't care. Paul just seems utterly wearied by Laura, not ferociously intrigued as Gina seems to want him to be. But Alex and Laura? Not a bad fit, it seems, if it didn't drive everybody else into distraction.

I'm not going to address the end of the week yet except to say OH COME ON but I will say that Gina is rapidly spiraling down in my estimation, as a shrink and a person. She seems to be dragging Paul by the yoke of a natural attraction to a patient, though I suppose it's being revealed that Paul's feelings go deeper than that. Please no.

Cut out SOON, I do not care if Laura is hit by a bus and Paul has to explore whether he subconsciously pushed her into the street, but Sex. Ruins. Everything. If at all possible, dear ambitious TV writers, when you have such a thinky show, at a very intense, very unique pacing (5 half hours a week is a huge commitment, which is why we fans are a tee biddle insane) and then you just do that thing. That everyone does. And so early too. So enough of the teasing. Either full sex, right there in the office her next session, toss Alex in there to wave around a Desert Eagle, and have Gina confess to Kate that she raped Paul eight years ago. Anything. A rut is a rut is a rut, but I am willing to forgive.

And so should you! If you're watching, that is.

*

Aurorasbored is your handy dandy ranter for all occasions. I'm available where suds and bud roam freely through the plains. She also does not actually get HBO, so she may be in trouble with this show sometime soon. Thanks E. Stoner!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Jake and/or Amy - Week Three

I don't know where to start with Jake and/or Amy this week. I think it was a great reveal about how Jake and Amy got together. So she was pregnant within a month, eh? Suddenly tied down with his baby. I sort of remember that they got together while Amy was still with her last husband. If so, this chronology may not make tons of sense.

You know what else doesn't make sense? Paul's complete passivity about Kate going on a week long fuckaytion.

Kate's clearly trying to provoke a reaction in him. He's all broken because he's reacting like an analyst and refusing to get in the game. He needs to fight for her, not with her.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Cookin with Coolio and the Mock-you-structional

I don't know what I expected from Coolio's Cooking show. It kinda looks like they're having fun, but it's walking a really weird line between serious cooking show and crazy.

In a way, this is the same sort of pseudo-instructional video genre I talked about last time with My Damn Channel, but it's less funny than "You Suck at Photoshop" and I think I can pinpoint a couple of reasons that may help figure out what you need to to in mocku-structional genre:

The biggest failure is that Coolio can't seem to cook for shit. His first recipe is caprese salad. YOU CAN'T FUCK THIS UP! But he's got each ingredient spread all over the place on the plate in ways that can't get in the same bite... I take my munchies seriously. If you're gonna slice a big tomato, slice a big ball of mozz. If you're going with little chunks of mozzarella, split up grape tomatoes or something. And then onions? I dunno about that one bit. The photoshop dude was clearly good at photoshop and using it to fuel the humor.

Dumb gags unrelated to the frame - it's kinda funny to have the spices look like drugs... kinda... but remember, if you're gonna get stones from weed when you cook, you gotta hot-it-up. Ain't gonna work otherwise.

Coolio is trying WAY too hard. He tries to make at least three different catch phrases stick in the span of five minutes. It's like when the dumb girl in mean girls keeps trying to make "fetch" into a catch-phrase. That's can't work can it? The photoshop guy is pretty subtle about being crazy. It seeps out in the framing and it's related to the picture he's doctoring in each webisode.

I do think Jerez is kinda funny. Like so ridiculous that he makes his end of it work. He just repeats everything Coolio says and helps jump in on his tag-lines.

In conclusion - to be funny in a mock-you-structional: 1) know the content, so the basic frame is believable and can save you. 2) Be quirky funny within the frame 3) Don't force it.

Week Three - Crossing Paths

Woah!

Alex and Laura, sitting in a bee.
Em, dou-ble, you,
Driving East

First comes Laura,
Then comes Alex
Next comes the couple
with the miscarriage.

The crossing over between patients seems like another oh-so-convenient contrivance to get crossover between the days. Today is the first day I remember Laura talking about getting a cab. Where the fuck are they that she doesn't drive?

Is there any indication of where this is supposed to take place? Sophie has taken the bus, so we can assume it's urban enough to have a bus. I think Laura works at a hospital. Alex ended Monday's episode saying he'd drive Laura downtown.

After intense consultation with Google maps and accent analysis, I've narrowed the setting to the outskirts of Glasgow. Although, I feel like I mighta did something wrong there...

Monday, February 11, 2008

George Lopez - Underbite of the Century

The Grammy's sucked dog dick. Well eulogized here. Within the 10 minutes before I bailed entirely, I saw George Lopez take a shit on stage:

He starts by noticing that only in America could a black man and a women be running for president of the United States.

Then he has some can't-believe-he-bit this joke about how a Latino vice-president would be a great insurance policy for either Hillary or Obama.

Didn't Chris Rock make this joke about a black VP about 10 years ago on SNL?

I thought so. Then I checked the original version on weekend update...



No, no, wait... Chris Rock is funny. What's so odd is that George Lopez didn't even bite the joke. He sort of reversed, copied it, and took out the funny.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Coolio and Kool-Aid Pickles

I spent a little time on My Damn Channel. The thing that pulled me in was a trailer for Coolio's cooking show - which strikes me as a great thing. BUT, it's not available yet.

The oddball mixed genre thing that really got me laughing was this show called "You Suck at Photoshop." It's actually decent tutorial of photoshop, but it's also really funny.

Worth a smoke-n-giggle. I'll also have to remember to check back next week when Coolio's cooking show is up and running. The Ghetto Gourmet. Mmmm... Maybe he'll do Kool-Aid Pickles. Did you know that's a thing? Anyone tried one?

Shit, I'll try anything once. If ever there was a snack conceived of while stoned, this is it. In the Times article, they're endorsed by a kid as “I like it the same as dipping hot Cheetos in ice cream.”

Equal Pooper-tunity Employer


Hiring-by-ass
: Choosing employees based on how they look from behind in a face-to-fesse interview.

Hiring-by-ass-sees: pl. Choosing employees based on based on reviewing resumes with tail-shots.

Hiring-by-ass-sieze: pl. Not recommended.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

In Therapy - Week 2 - Jake and Amy

If we're going with the assumption that the format is made to cater to specific audiences, it's a little too convenient to see Paul and Kate have it out on a Wednesday, during couples-therapy night.

The opening of this episode has Amy smoking on the stoop - poisoning the unborn. Then we see Jake sexually excited by this sabotage. During the session, they're getting along fine - as long as Amy is continuing to sabotage her life - both her health and her profession - by pretending to be fine with the baby.

Then we see Amy's miscarriage. At the moment she's forced to look at the contradictions within herself, the pain she was feeling earlier manifests itself and rejects the fetus. And then they rush out and Paul needs Kate - his protective wall - to come in and scrub away the pain.

It seems clear that Kate and Paul lost a child somewhere along the line, right? Could that be what all the stacked photography books are about? Sophie noticed them in week one. I may be wrong, but it seems there's been some kid's name mentioned beyond the two we keep hearing about.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Face Transformer

Face of the Future is a set of exhibits and tools that allow you to explore "the latest advances in facial computer vision and graphics, and what they mean for society." It's a ton of fun to screw around with.

With the face transformer, you can upload a picture of yourself - prefereably with a plain background - and then transform it a bunch of different ways. As a Super-Tuesday treat, here's George Bush.


That's his real picture (not the 50% chimp transform as you might suspect). And apparently, I'm not the only one to think he looks a bit like a chimp. Check this guy's set of comparison photos.

You can also go for an ethnic transform. Here's one of George Bush as a South Asian:



You can also do the face averager to see what it would look like if you had kids with someone. You just need pictures of the two people and you can slap them together. How much fun is that? Is that reasonable precaution before a second date? "I like you and all, but I just don't think this is going anywhere. Our kids are going to look like George Bush... "

Monday, February 4, 2008

In Therapy - Second Week is Up...

It's on! How could I wait? That certainly defines the evening. That's all from me for five delicious half-hours. Or 2.5 hours... plus snack breaks...

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Gerrymandering is Fun!

It's always baffling and frustrating in an election season to learn how it's possible to lose even with a majority of the voters. The way our districts get defined is amazingly partisan. It's so unbelievably rigged, it feels like a game... and that's the way the USCAnnenbergCenter is presenting it in The ReDistricting Game.

There are a few objectives, but basically, you're trying to rig the next election by redrawing district lines based on knowing who lives where. You can tip the scales by throwing a district to the opposition and stacking as much of the opposition as you can there. You want to spread your support across as many districts as you can win - but not by too much.

It's totally worth screwing around with. What blows my mind is that this is the type of system that we hear about in social studies and very few people in the country ever need to understand in detail. It's nice to put this type of tool in the hands of the regular (sloppy) joe. I would hope it provokes some questions or even outrage. At the very least, it can get lumped in with the grouchy sentiment about 'the game' or 'the system' which very clearly is rigged.

In Treatment - Comes from 'Betipul'

'In Treatment' recreates an Israeli original, called Betipul. They ran it with the same format - one patient each day of the week.

When it was launched here, a Ha'aretz review seemed dubious that it will succeed because of Americans' "familiar and inflexible viewing habits." I love it!

Has anyone seen the Israeli version or know where I can watch it?

In Treatment - Watch Online

In Treatment is a new show that launched this week on HBO. I'm really into the format - there are episodes every day where Paul sees different patients. Then on Friday, we'll see his own session with his therapist, Gina (Dianne Wiest). Produced by M&M (marky-mark?) Wahlberg, it's an American version of an Israeli show (Think of pitch people saying 'Well, The Office crossed the Atlantic just fine...).

Each episode uses a single session as it's narrative structure. It's like the ultimate psycho-drama. Character-arc is everything here and it works because the writing is tight and the acting is great. Gabriel Byrne, in particular, is a totally convincing therapist. Not only that, but he's a good therapist - he's making the connections for his patients and helping them uncover them for themselves whenever possible.

The first week had a few first visits and just one long-time customer (Laura). You get the raw feeling of a duel from a few of the sessions which feels authentic. Everyone approaches him with so many defenses (or by going on the offensive). In the end, when he sits down with Gina, he gives what he gets. They do such a good job of showing how engaging with the process of therapy is engaging the therapist.

Maybe the fun here is the fact that we get to play both shrink and patient. We're getting Paul's help but we're also yelling at the screen like "don't go up the stairs" when we see something before he does. Then on Friday there's the big reveal of what he thinks.

While they're not archetypes, each of the four patients is likely to appeal to different audiences to varying degrees. I wonder if different people will watch on different nights - or if HBO is trying to hit different demographics this way.

It could be vicarious therapy for people who can't/don't want to go to therapy themselves. They can pick their character and transfer the process of exploration onto themselves. But then, everyone should watch Friday's episode to see what Paul thinks of them.

Worth noting is that HBO has allowed us to watch the full streaming episodes for this first week online. (This is what execs would tell screen writers is a 'promotion'). I'm not sure if they'll keep that up, but I hope so. HBO's online viewer has no full-screen, but it's totally uninterupted by commercials.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

How Humanoid Aliens Built Stonehenge...

Wally Wallington of Michican has solved one of the great stoner debates of all time: Given the technology available at the time, could humans have built stonehenge? I have never been to stonehenge, but I've remembered thinking the same about the massive stones involved in the pyramids in Guatemala and Egypt. For those bigguns, we're generally taught that there were armies of slaves involved rolling rocks up ramps on cylinders. From the dioramas and animations I've seen, it's believed to have been a brute-force operation.

In Stonehenge, the stones were quarried a long ways away. There are real doubts about transport and then how to lift these monsters up in the air. The bigguns are over 25 tons. That's like 50,000 lbs (or 25 buffalo if you're studying to be an air-traffic controller)

Wally Wallington, an ingenious retired carpenter has applied some lessons he learned on the job and spent time figuring out how he could lift and move rocks of this size using only levers, fulcrums and gravity. What he's been able to conclusively demonstrate is that each part of this construction is possible using significantly less human power than the hundeds of pushers and pullers that most people assumed.





In light of this demonstration, a great mystery is solved about the construction of Stonehenge: Since most aliens we have come into contact with through science fiction are about the same size and shape as human actors - we can now recreate how the aliens might have built Stonehenge.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Funny Shit!

Not just well animated, this is really well scripted. Enjoy!

Grilled Cheese Taste Test

In an earlier post, I maintained that mayonnaise is as good as butter in a pinch when it comes to the grilled cheese.

Last night, in a controlled experiment, I put butter and mayonnaise to the test of fire. That is... I got ripped and made grilled cheese both ways.

There is no question in the mind of our esteemed tasting panel - in my head - that butter emerged victorious in terms of taste. Mayonnaise performed adequately, and may only have gained the edge by forming a brown crunchy crust more quickly and evenly in a non-stick pan.

In short, don't despair if you only have mayo. But butter betters mayo mainly